Hogwarts Games
by Russell Anderson
Summary: Hogwarts 'I've Never', 'Truth or Dare', and a hint of 'Spin the Bottle'. First chapter is not rated PG13, but those after it are. Also, 'Truth or Dare' and 'Spin the Bottle' coming later (after 2 chapters of 'I've Never'). HPGW and SSMM inside!
1. Chapter 1

A/N (IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ): All right, so I am starting right in the middle, I could not think of a way to get the teachers in with the students on this. And, also, Harry, Ron and Hermione are sixth years, and the seventh years, sixth years, fifth years, and teachers are playing. Oh, yeah, and Fred/George are the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers, though they mostly filled it with segments on How to Prank Voldemort, which amuses Dumbledore to an alarming level. And Percy is the new Caretaker, replacing Argus Filch.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. 'Nuff said.  
  
Sitting around in a circle one night, in secret, was one of the oddest _I've Never_ groups of all time. Ron had bounded throughout the castle, getting everyone he could to play. Oddly enough, some of the people Ron had invited had invited teachers themselves, so alone with Ron's invitations, there sat Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, Fred and George (who never let anyone call them Professors even though they were), Hagrid, Professor Weasley (which was what Percy made everyone call him), Firenze, and Trelawney (who was looking mystical and doing weird motions with her firewhiskey, all while humming under her breath).

"You all know the rules," said Hermione, getting up, "We go around in a circle. A volunteer will start us off, saying something they have never done. If anyone else has done it, they will drink the firewhiskey in front of them."

At this, there was a bit of protest from Professor McGonagall, but an exceedingly amused-looking Dumbledore quickly silenced her. "The point is to get everybody else to be out of their firewhiskey first," continued Hermione, unusually rebellious and unperturbed. Okay, are we all settled on the rules?" Everyone nodded. "Okay! I need a volunteer to go first." Nobody volunteered.

"Oh, fine, then I'll go first, so you can see how it's done! Okay..." Hermione said, visibly struggling, "I've never owned a pet considered dangerous by the Ministry."

"Aw, Hermione, don' pick on me," grunted Hagrid. Obviously, Hagrid drank immediately, but so did George, Dean, and...

"Albus?" screeched McGonagall. "Yes, well, there was this one time... eh... er..." stammered Dumbledore, evidently flustered. "I was covering up for Hagrid, I... er... took care of Grawp..." Dumbledore winked, while almost everybody was whispering, "Who's Grawp?" Only Harry, Ron, and Hermione really knew what he was talking about.

"Er... okay..." said Hermione. "Er... Colin, you next. No, wait, we're going clockwise. Okay, er... Professor Weasley," she said, holding back laughter, because Percy threw out his chest pompously when she had said it. "Your turn." "I've never slipped dung into somebody's mail," Percy said immediately, glaring at Fred and George, who drank so quickly everybody just barely caught it. After much hesitation, Snape also drank. Trelawney, who was sitting next to him, screeched, "THE GRIM! IT IS IN YOUR FIREWHISKEY!" and fell silent again. Firenze scoffed.

"Professor Snape?" asked Harry.

"Do you really want me to reminisce about your father?" snapped Snape in return.

"No, that's really annoying," said Ron. "Oh, and by the way, I'm next. Erm... I've never kissed Harry Potter."

Quite a few girls hesitated, and then, one by one, drank. There was Cho Chang, and then Hermione almost immediately afterwards. Then Parvati and Lavender both drank. "WHAT?" bellowed Harry, and everybody except Snape (who scowled), Firenze (who looked confused), and Trelawney (who was still doing those stupid fortune-telling motions with her firewhiskey) burst out laughing. Parvati, after a right fit of the giggles, explained. "It was when you were asleep, we crept up into the boys dormitory. I couldn't help myself, and neither could Lavender." Both of them started giggling. All at once, out of nowhere, there was a total uproar at who drank next.

A/N: Okay, when you review, I want you to tell me who this person should be, and please don't say Draco, that's just sick and I don't want to go there. 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm not sure this happens very often, but I'm updating this the very same day. I got quite a few positive comments in the reviews, and a lot of people said they couldn't wait for the next chapter! Hope this is greeted as positively as the first chapter! Watch out for some romance between unusual people! (But not same-gender, I don't want to make anyone gay.) Warning: Harry and Ginny go a bit overboard!  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Harry yadda yadda, don't I wish yadda yadda, you should know this by now. It's not as if I'm Rowling in disguise or anything.  
  
"WHAT?" bellowed the four Weasleys.

"Calm, calm," muttered McGonagall, evidently shocked. Dumbledore still looked too amused for anybody's good.

"Oh, that's it, I'm leaving, this is ridiculous," exclaimed Firenze, "a child's game, surely, but not one for someone like me. It's not like you're going to ever say anything I'd drink to anyways."

"Oy, Ginny!" exclaimed Fred, not taking any notice of Firenze leaving. "What the bloody hell's going on! I'll tell Mum!"

"Now, Fred," said Luna Lovegood, trying to restrain him. "She's 16... damn it, George!" she said, as George charged at Harry.

Percy mumbled something about "Crouch", although how he could have fit Barty Crouch into this mess, who knows.

"It's just a game, for goodness sakes!" exclaimed Angelina Johnson suddenly. Fred and George immediately stopped trying to attack Harry.

"Okay, then, let's hear Ginny's explanation," said Ron angrily, who wasn't doing anything but was sitting there fuming. "Go on, Ginny. Tell us."

Ginny, who was sitting next to Harry and holding his hand, quickly let go of his hand and put her hand behind her back. "Um. Uh. Well. It was Harry's fault!" she suddenly exclaimed.

"No, it wasn't!" shouted Harry.

Dumbledore was softly chuckling, while McGonagall and Snape were just sitting there, surveying the scene, totally appalled and aghast. Trelawney seemingly had no intention of being in the real world, and McGonagall suddenly shouted, "If you're going to just sit there playing with your drink, go up to the North Tower and pour it over your crystal ball!" That broke the tension. Everybody except for Snape and Trelawney laughed, and all of a sudden, any relationship between Ginny and Harry was forgotten. Ginny clenched Harry's hand again, and they both smiled.

"So, now it's... oh, God..." muttered Hermione, "more?!" "WHAT?" screamed Draco and Harry at the same time.

"PANSY?" "When did YOU kiss me, Pansy?" asked Harry.

"Why," said Pansy, in a high voice, "don't you remember?" Then she resumed her usual low voice. "No, I guess you wouldn't because I wiped your memory. Still... you're sooooooo much better than Malfoy..."

Draco eyed Pansy's torso hungrily and enviously, slightly drooling.

"Ooooookay..." said Hermione. "Draco, stop it. Erm... next is... Hagrid, I guess you're next."

"I've never..." started Hagrid. "Hmm... le's see now, got ter think o' somethin' I never done... uh... I never... I never had a... err... a dream 'bout a teacher a' Hogwarts."

Snape impulsively reached out and took a sip of firewhiskey. He eyed McGonagall, just slightly longingly.

"Snape? Dumbledore—?" cried Dean.

"GINNY?" exclaimed Harry, Dean, Seamus, Lavender, and the Weasleys all at the same time.

"Not that kind of dream!" exclaimed Ginny. "It was just... like... getting a dream about failing a class!"

"This is getting interesting..." whispered Seamus.

"I smell a row... maybe we should change the game..." mumbled Hermione.

"No, let's keep going!" exclaimed Seamus. "Erm... my turn... uh... I've never been inside Knockturn Alley." Harry, Hagrid and Dumbledore drank.

Also, Ginny took a very, very long drink, and soon enough, there was nothing left in her cup. She looked very, very drunk.

"Ginny," said Percy, "you've been in Knockturn Alley?"

Ginny smiled drunkenly. "Bro..." she said, slurring. "You gotsh te get arooouuuunnd... ooouuuunnnddd... ahhh, Harry, hold me, darlin'," she said, laying her head in his lap. Harry immediately grabbed her around the waist and started kissing her, and Dumbledore, thinking quickly, gathered all the teachers except for the Weasleys, and ushered them out the door, repeating over and over again, "You didn't see this, you didn't see this!"

Ginny and Harry's kiss started to get completely out of hand. When Ginny started undoing Harry's cloak, Ron lunged at them, but Seamus pulled him back. "Let's just watch," he told Ron. Harry felt his tongue leave his mouth... Fred and George looked appalled, as all clothing left Harry's torso... and then...  
  
A/N: Okay, how do you like THAT? Give me requests if you want! Do you want them to really get at it? Or do you want someone to break them apart? Feedback, people, feedback!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: That last chapter was not nearly as good as the first... I am going to try to make up for that right now. Please tell me if this is as good as the first chapter! By the way, NEVER suggest teacher/Harry pairings... shudders involuntarily... McGonagall and Harry? Sick...  
  
Disclaimer: I AM NOT J.K. ROWLING! SHE IS A GENIUS! GEEEEENIUUUUS! sings Groundskeeper Willy's "Maniac Song" from "The Simpsons"  
  
Dumbledore burst in. "Okay, Harry, shirt back on, there's a good lad!" he shouted as Harry reluctantly picked up his shirt. Ginny looked somewhat disappointed, but Ron looked somewhat relieved. "Time for Truth or Dare!" exclaimed Dumbledore. "It's okay..." he muttered, "They've finished."

At this, an apprehensive-looking McGonagall, and a stunned-looking Hagrid entered the room behind him. Snape was attempting to jump up and look over Hagrid's shoulder. Seeing as that didn't work, since Hagrid was so abnormally large, he pushed his way through. "Congratulations... Potter," spat Snape loathingly. "Let's... play... a game."

"Well put, Severus!" exclaimed Dumbledore. "Erm... one more thing, you may have noticed that Sibyll Trelawney is no longer with us, as she... err... wandered off somewhere. Oh, well," he said cheerfully, waving it aside, "someone will find her in the morning. Well." He clapped his hands together. "Truth or Dare, anyone? It might... explain a few things," he chuckled, eyeing Harry.

"Ugh..." moaned Snape, but he stayed.

Harry and Ginny resumed their seats, with a quick kiss on the lips.

"Okay..." said Hermione. "Since we are in the Gryffindor common room that means that a Gryffindor is host and that would be me. Therefore, I get to choose someone who will go first. I pick... Trelawney!"

Somehow, Trelawney had made her way back into the Gryffindor common room. A/N: Lame, I know, but hey. I like Trelawney.

"I trust, since there is no drink in front of you," said McGonagall scornfully, "that you will be able to pay attention, Sibyll?"

"Minerva," laughed Trelawney. "Of course. Severus, truth or dare?" she spat suddenly.

"E-uh..." mumbled Snape, who actually looked quite comic, was trying to think of this simple single-word answer. "E-uh... uh... dare? NO, I MEAN—"

"Too late, Severus!" exclaimed Dumbledore triumphantly.

"I dare you to..." started Trelawney, pausing for effect. "I dare you to mimic me."

Snape laughed, long and hard. Everybody laughed with him, even Trelawney. "Good one, Sibyll!" Dumbledore managed to say before he totally lost it. When everybody had calmed down, Snape got up. Contorting his face in an odd, mystical fashion A/N: I wish you peoples could see the picture in my head right now! Snape started hobbling around, waving his hands and humming in a high voice. Everybody laughed. Then, all of a sudden, Snape lunged for Neville, grabbed him, held him high up in the air, and asked in a silly voice that was about two octaves above Trelawney's, he asked him, "Is your grandmother feeling well?" Everybody burst into utter hysteria. Even Snape fell on the floor, he was laughing so hard.

When everybody had settled down, yet again, Neville and Snape resumed their positions and Snape regained his sneer. Everyone stared at him. Finally, he spat, "Potter! Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!" shot Harry. He wasn't about to share his sexual feelings for people to everybody in the room, especially if it was Snape asking him to.

Snape let out a single laugh, a triumphant one. "I dare you to let Draco curse you with whatever curse he feels like!"

McGonagall started, but then sat back down, considering it. After all, Harry couldn't die, he still had two more sequels going for him.

Malfoy stood up, readying his wand. Harry stood up right after, and they met in the center. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" bellowed Malfoy.

Everybody gasped, but the green light merely bounced off Harry's scar and killed some random Hufflepuff. "At least it was a Hufflepuff," said Dumbledore, shrugging.

"Okay, that was an easy dare," commented Harry. "Good thing you didn't use the Cruciatus Curse, Malfoy, that's the only one of the Unforgivables I can't handle!"

"I should give you detention, Mr. Malfoy!" exclaimed McGonagall.

"Calm, Minerva," said Dumbledore.

"Okay..." said Harry. "Ginny, truth or dare?"

"Dare," Ginny said.

"Okay..." said Harry, yet again. "I dare you to go into the Charms room where Flitwick is, and tell him you love him. Then, I want you to kiss him straight on the lips for at least 20 seconds.

"Oh," he added as an afterthought, while Ginny looked appalled. "I wouldn't mind a good kiss when you come back, either."

"Can I just kiss you instead of Flitwick?" asked Ginny hopefully.

"If you don't fulfill the dare, no kiss from me," scolded Harry mildly.

"Fine, I'll do it," said Ginny.

"C'mon, Professor Dumbledore," said Harry. "You up to making sure she does it?" Dumbledore chuckled. "Let's go."  
  
A/N: What shall happen? What shall happen? Please review, please review! This is a longer one than the other two, and I got at least another couple chapters in my head that are coming tomorrow, guaranteed! For now, review! Give ideas! Feeeeeed ideas! I deserve it; it took more than half an hour to think of what Snape should say as a dare.


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